Surgery is hard by candlelight.

I apologise for my lack of posting, my friends. I have been abed, awash in a haze of antibiotics scrounged from the pillaged supplies at the hospital, as well as some sort of pain medication that that Jenkins person made available... For a price. Surgery was needed, as something inside me had... grown. I do not wish to say more than that. The surgery was done without anaesthesia, and was over very quickly... But I wish to put it past me.

My friends, my true friends, have shown their support. Others have barely even noticed that anything was even amiss. Oh well. One must have one's secrets. I do not like to have people meddling where they are not welcome, and they are not welcome in my innards.

but I am back on my feet, collecting supplies, and ready to face another day of killing zombies. Life is truly blessed.

today's proverb: "for the weak and ill may be of use, if they wish to; a leper's hand may hold a steady knife in the army of right." ---Book of Tony, 456:2b

O Hildegarde.

Hildegarde Von Deuters is a very interesting individual. A true warrior in the Army of Binky... A strong and accomplished fighter; yet strangely obsessed by the "likkle cuuute puppieees!!". I assume this stems from an inability to have children, or possibly some sort of mental defect. Nonetheless, we must forget about such small trifling details, and look at the person as a whole. I like Hildegarde indeed, and when the day comes for Binky to wreak Havoc Upon The Fallen And Weak With His Sharp Teeth And Not Miss A Single Unrepentant Sinning Wastrel, No Not Even You, Who Have Hidden Yourselves; yes, when that day comes, I will speak for Hildegarde, and ensure that no harm comes to such an esteemed warrior.

Zombies smell a great deal worse than one would ever expect. It is sometimes difficult to strike at them in close combat as each blow releases noxious gases and odours of decay. Not to mention that apparently bathing is not high on their list of priorities. I have taken to carrying a spraycan of Air freshener into combat with me. It makes life easier, and far less nauseating, although it complicates combat somewhat.

proverb of the day: "let the mothers be the mothers, and the fathers be the fathers, and the dentists be neither, for so shall the doom come"-- Book of Charlie, 34:890

Culling the Herd is hard when your swings all miss.

It's so strange. It seems, that some days, no matter how hard I try, I can't accomplish anything. You can swing as many times as you like with that axe, but you just keep missing. I suppose I would have a greater chance of success firing upon them with my pistol (I seem to have a higher level of competence with it, for some reason), but I can't seem to find any ammunition today... I have heard others complaining of the same phenomenon, of expending all their energy in a futile search for, say, syringes or cellphones. And the sleep comes upon you so suddenly, oftentimes when you are in the midst of a battle, or need just a little more time to complete a task...

I suppose Lord Binky, in his infinite wisdom, must have some sort of plan for us all, that we are just not seeing...

tomorrow I will try to find some first-aid kits. Perhaps my attempts to kill are not enough: I must act selflessly and heal my fellow strugglers. Which is an act that is it's own reward, of course.

proverb of the day: "lo, for the sun did shine upon the tiny paws of the ferret lord, and the little child did laugh and praise them. And the ferret lord said, laugh, child, for yours is the music of the unformed mind"-- Book of Adorabill, 2:223

My Aching Head.

Talk talk talk. It seems sometimes that all these bloody people ever do is prattle away uselessly, and worthlessly. They waste all their time and energy on petty disputes and supposedly witty banter. Surely our time is better spent on meditation and consideration of the battles to come?

Proverb of the day: "In the ways of the small and of the large, all things acquire sheen and lustre wrapped in the glory of victory"-- the Book of Wars, 2:423

DNA Extraction.

Today I mostly spent trying to tag and identify some of our neighboring zombies' DNA using Necrotech DNA extraction techniques. I see it as a small part to play in releasing these poor creatures from their enslavement.. They can be revived! Of course, they are ungrateful little bastards! One of them even tried to bite me! I have received an infected bite before and it was not pleasant. Well, as you can imagine, I was not well pleased and attempted to reason with the zombie, which did not respond, as you can well imagine. So I killed it. Binky himself has stated in his tenets: "for those that heed not the word of reason, for those who are ungrateful and coarse; these are the mannerless who must be remedied".

That Filthy Jenkins is a coarse one. I noticed him eyeing one of the women again, at the hospital. He was, of course, leering like a pervert. He caught my eye and made a crude Suggestion. I responded by quoting the appropriate passage of the book of The Underling.

I worry that continued exposure to such... People could prove more detrimental to my purity of faith than an untreated zombie bite.

A journal, so that I may Document my Good Works

Welcome, all to my new "blog", as they call them. I was able, through luck and perseverance, to cobble together a working computer, so I have decided to document the goings-on in Malton, in the hope that someday, once this scourge; this defilement that walks the streets in mockery of nature's laws; has been wiped from the face of Malton, that someone, somewhere will be able to learn from our efforts.

I will start by describing my surroundings. I am based in the suburb of Dunnel Hills. It was once an attractive, lively place... Not that I had been here long before the cataclysm occurred that transformed most of the population to the shambling undead. I was here on Monastery business... Anyway, the place is a war zone now. The motley crew of survivors, police and low-class dregs of humanity (a certain filthy Jenkins comes to mind) have banded together to form ragged groups... Although I trust almost nobody. There are those... Who assist the zombies... Who are traitors to the human race...